I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
