Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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