youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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