I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
