I want you more than these girls want KFC
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
