He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
