So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize