If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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