I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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