I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
