day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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