So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
