I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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