I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
