just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
