i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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