i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
