oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
