so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Shitshow foam night was such a success
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize