i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
