..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
