her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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