Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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