So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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