I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
