I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
