yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
