Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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