spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
