NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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