Dual....:-)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
