dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
