I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
