I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
