Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
