i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
