Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
