I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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