What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
