Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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