New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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