The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
