I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
