FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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