just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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