god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
