Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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