i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i think i just lost a toe
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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