Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
