my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
