went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize