and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
