Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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