I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
