Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She said her name was "party"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
