ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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