haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
