So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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