you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Acid is not a monday night drug
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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