I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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