i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
