Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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