The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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