I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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