come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize