Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
