if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
only you would photoshop your dick
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
