So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize