I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
