Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
